'Chinese pre-wedding customs are traditional Chinese rituals prescribed by the ?? [láih gei] (Book of Rites), the ?? [yìh láih] (Book of Etiquette and Ceremonial) and the ??? [baahk fú tùng] (Bai Hu Tong) condensed into a series of rituals now known as the ???? [sàam syù luhk láih] (Three Letters and Six Rites). Traditionally speaking, a wedding that incorporates all 6 rites is considered a [daaih chéui] (complete wedding, dà q?).
The six traditional rites involved in a Chinese wedding are as follows:
- [naahp chói] (nacai)- formal proposal
- [muhn mìhng] (wenming) - giving of the eight characters of prospective bride to the groom's side
- [naahp gàt] (naji) - placement of the eight characters at the ancestral altar to confirm compatibility
- [naahp jìng] (nazheng) - sending of betrothal gifts to the bride and return gifts to the prospective groom
- ?? [chíng kèih] (qingqi) - selection of an auspicious wedding date
- ?? [chàn yìhng] (qinying) - wedding ceremony
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Selection of dates
The first step is the selection of auspicious dates (???) for the Chinese wedding, the betrothal and the installation of the bridal bed. A Chinese monk or a temple fortune teller selects a suitable date based on the couple's birth dates and times. Some may also refer to the Chinese calendar or almanac for good days. Even numbered months and dates are preferred, and the lunar seventh month is avoided as it is the month of the Hungry Ghost Festival.
After the selection of the auspicious dates, wedding details such as types and quantities of betrothal gifts, reciprocal gifts, bride price (??), and number of tables at the wedding banquet provided by the groom's parents for the bride's parents' guests are settled.
Betrothal
Up to three months or earlier before the wedding day, the groom will deliver the betrothal gifts to the bride's family on an auspicious date.?
The betrothal (Chinese: ???; pinyin: guo dàl?, also known as ?? or nàc?i) is an important part of the Chinese wedding tradition. During this exchange, the groom's family presents the bride's family with betrothal gifts (called ?? or pìnl?) to symbolize prosperity and good luck. Moreover, the bride's family receives the bride price (Chinese: ??; pinyin: p?ng j?n; literally: "abundant gold") in red envelopes. The bride's family also returns (??, huíl?) a set of gifts to the groom's side. Additionally, the bride's parents bestow a dowry (??, jiàzhu?ng, kè-chng) to the bride.
The selection of betrothal gifts varies by the ancestral regions of the bride and groom. In cases of intermarriage between various Chinese dialect speakers, brides typically follow the groom's ancestral traditions, not the other way around.
The gifts are often in even number for the meaning of in couple and in pairs. Food items given to the bride include wine, oranges, and tea; while jewelry for the bride includes gold earrings, necklaces, bracelets, and rings. In some regions, they are also combined with some local food, such as peanuts and dates (in Chinese, the word for "date" is a near homonym of "early", while "peanut" is "birth"). This is normally presented on the wedding day, with the wishes of giving birth to a child early in the marriage. Candles and paper cut "Double Happiness" are often seen on a wedding day as well.
The bride price, which is given by the groom's family to the bride's family, varies from region to region. In Southern China, the bride price is much higher than in Northern China.
After the betrothal gifts and bride price are negotiated and given, the families select a special date for the wedding. The wedding date is announced via invitations about a month earlier, and the invitations are distributed to the friends and relatives about one or two weeks before the wedding day.
Cantonese traditions
During the wedding rituals, Cantonese brides invariably don a ?? [kwàhn kwáa], a highly embroidered red silk dress, which consists of a petticoat, adorned with the images of a ? [lùhng] (dragon) and a ? [fuhng] (phoenix), and a long skirt.
A hair combing ceremony (see description below) is performed.
In addition, the groom is expected to give a pair of matching ??? [lùhng fuhng ngáak] (dragon and phoenix bracelets), which are most commonly made of gold, to the bride, and are to be worn during the wedding festivities. The dragon and phoenix motif symbolize a blissful union, as described by the Chinese phrase ??? [lùhng fuhng pui] (a union of the dragon and phoenix).
On the third day following the wedding, the newlywed bride's first return visit to her family home after marriage is called ?? [gwài nìhng]. A ?? [siu jyù] (whole roasted pig) is presented to the bride's family, who customarily will keep the pig's body and return the pig's head and legs, along with other gifts. Traditionally, a perfect roast pig was offered as a sign of the bride's virginity.
Hokkien traditions
In the Hokkien dialect, the betrothal rite is known as sang jit-thau (???, sàng-ji?t-thâu) or its abbreviated form sang jit.
Betrothal gifts unique to the Hokkien include pig trotters and rice candies. Household items are also given to the bride, symbolic of the duties she will assume as wife.
Among the most important return gifts for the Hokkien is a set of silver coins called yuánqián (??) or dà yuán (??) and xi?o yuán (??), given by the bride to the groom's siblings.
A Hokkien tradition is for the bride's family to offer a spittoon replete with red dates, dried longans and lotus seeds, along with other sweets, sealed with red paper, as part of the dowry.
On the day of the wedding, the bride's mother is presented with an uncooked pork leg, to show gratitude for her caretaking.
The Hokkien traditionally incorporate sugarcane as a motif during wedding celebrations for protection; it is tied to the doorpost of the doorpost of the couple's home and to the bridal carriage. This practice stems from a traditional legend in which Hokkiens were spared from a massacre by a Song dynasty emperor by hiding in sugarcane fields. Sugarcane also features a prominent role during the ninth day of Chinese New Year celebrations (marking the Jade Emperor's birthday).
During the eve of the wedding ceremony, Hokkien families pay respects to the Jade Emperor, called in Thi?-kong Hokkien (??, lit. Lord of Heaven), to seek his protection. Six food dishes and five kinds of fruit are offered as well.
Teochew traditions
The foremost Teochew betrothal gift is the sì di?nj?n (???), four pieces of jewelry including a gold necklace, a pendant, a pair of earrings and a bangle selected by a groom's mother and presented to the bride during the tea ceremony. Since sì di?nj?n is also the name of a traditional Chinese architectural style, a four-pointed curved roof found in traditional homes, the jewelry symbolizes a blissful union in a secure home.
The Teochew also give flaky pastries similar to hopia, as well as peanut candies. If the bride's grandmother is still alive, pastries called laoma gao (???) are offered to her.
Delivery of the bride's dowry
The bride's parents may include the ?? [gaa jòng] (bride's dowry) (jiàzhu?ng) along with the reciprocal gifts on the day of betrothal, or may present the bride's dowry separately a few days before the wedding ceremony. Chinese dowries typically include:
- bedding (e.g. pillows, bolsters, comforter set, blankets, bed sheets)
- new clothing for the bride, delivered in a suitcase (in the past, wardrobes or wooden wedding chests were used)
- tea set for the wedding tea ceremony
- a tub filled with baby items (???, which may include a baby bathtub, baby potty, washbasin, tumblers, toothpaste and toothbrush, mirror, comb, etc.)
- two pairs of red wooden clogs, wedding slippers or bedroom slippers
- a sewing basket (with even numbered rolls of colourful thread, needles, pincushion, scissors, and sewing wax with auspicious words on it)
- gold jewellery given by bride's parents
Installation of the bridal bed
Another ritual is the installation of the bridal bed (??, ?n chuáng). At an auspicious date and time, a woman of good fortune installs the bridal bed in the bridal room. New red or pink bedsheets are used and a plate of dried longans, lotus seeds, red dates, persimmons, sprig of pomegranate leaves together with 2 red packets are placed on the bed. A pair of bedside lamps (???) is lit to symbolize the addition of sons to the family.
Hair combing ceremony
A hair combing ceremony (?? [sò tàuh]) is also conducted on the eve of the wedding. After showering with water infused with pomelo or pomegranate leaves, the bride and groom change into a new set of clothing and shoes. Attending female family members bless them aloud as they sit in front of an open window with the visible moon or in front of the mirror.
The four blessings are:
- ???????[yàt sò sò dou méih] (with the first combing, be blessed to be together to the end,)
- ????????[yih sò baak nìhn hóu hahp] (with the second combing, be blessed with a hundred years of harmony in marriage,)
- ????????[sàam sò jí syùn múhn tòhng] (with the third combing, be blessed with a houseful of children and grandchildren)
- ????????[sei sò baahk faat chàih mèih] (with the fourth combing, be blessed with longevity)
A sweet dessert soup containing pink glutinous-rice spherical dumplings called ?? tòng yùhn is served after the hair combing ceremony to wish the couple a complete and sweet marriage.
Chinese wedding decorations ????
?? [sèung héi] (double happiness) decorations will be placed on all wedding items such as the betrothal gifts, dowry, the couple's toiletries and cosmetics. The bridal room furniture, especially the mirror and cupboards, will also be decorated with double joy or other wedding paper cutouts such as pairs of mandarin ducks, dragon and phoenix, etc. Similar red wedding paper cutouts will also be put up on the main door, bridal room door and generally around the house.
A red banner (???) will be hung across the front doors of the two household to announce the joyous event.
Even overseas Chinese, such as in Singapore, who marry will also apply the same ?? [sèung héi] (double happiness) decorations and customs as in China. Chinese couples in multi-racial countries like Singapore may also retain their own Cantonese, Teochew, Hokkien, and other traditions depending on their origin and Chinese language spoken.
Source of the article : Wikipedia
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